According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word ‘forgive’ means:
to grant pardon
for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve
to give up all
on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.)
to grant pardon
to (a person)
to cease to feel
resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies
to cancel an
indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan
I wonder though,
how many of us are actually able to do this. Don’t we all, most often than not,
just pretend to accept an apology and but do not really ‘pardon’, ‘absolve’ or
‘cease to feel resentment against’ our wrongdoer. We keep thinking about it. We
even let it turn into a wild raving forest fire in our hearts from the
simmering ember that it was! And then we keep the fire burning by repeating the
stories of our suffering to as many people as we can, as many times as we can.
We feel proud in some morbid way that we suffered at the hands of another
human! We do not release ourselves from the pain. Instead we work hard to keep
the hurt in and let it turn our insides raw and painful.
We all do this
at one time or another, whether we cop to it or not. But if we are truthful, we
will be able to admit that we carry our anger, our resentment, for such a long
time that when we look back it seems insane to think how much time we wasted on
such trivia.
Louise Hay, the
author of the book “You Can Heal Your Life” says: “Forgiveness means
letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior, it's just letting the
whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be
willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the hows."
This is not a
new concept for most of us! We have all heard this at some point in our lives.
Forgiveness means letting go…………. But that is not quite as easy to apply in
life. And even harder than that is to forgive ourselves! Not only do we hold on
to useless and hurtful garbage thrown at us by other people, but we also have
such a hard time forgiving ourselves for our own shortcomings as we see them
and moving on!
Do we forgive
ourselves when we forget to pay the bill on time or when we said something that
we would rather not have said? Do we not blame ourselves even though we are
sometimes the victims of other people’s meanness or inhumanity?
I believe most
of us need reminding what it is to forgive time and again. I don’t think we all
know, or remember (if we were taught right), what it means to forgive and why
we should forgive. Of course, knowing what it is to forgive is not enough.
Being able to practice that is what’s going to help us become better and
stronger humans. The question is CAN WE?
If only there
were a school where you were taught life’s lessons too along with your math,
science and languages………We all need it!!
