The Queen….No, The Queen Maker!

Who am I talking about? No, no, it’s not a politician! I am talking about Mrs. Tarla Dalal the famous  food writer, chef and best-selling cookbook author, whose creations and published recipes have turned many wives, daughters, daughters in law and well, the truth is, even sons, into Queens... and Kings of the kitchen!

She changed the scene of cooking and the kitchens of India, introducing not just a huge variety or regional cuisine throughout the nation, but also international cuisine, into an ordinary Indian kitchen and into everyday eating.  She was so successful because she resonated with dozens and dozens of women all over the country and her strong sense of flavor and knowledge of the Indian palate blew the minds of everyone who ate creations made from her recipes.

In spite of having been cooking several different dishes from a variety of cuisines (and cookbooks) for the past decade, I have to say that every time I recreate a recipe from Dalal’s books, it feels like I am transported into my mom’s kitchen where as young girls, my sister and I used to try and cook some of her recipes on our own and with mom’s encouraging (but secretly scared for her kitchen) eyes on us!

When you prepare food by following her recipes, you do not get scared, overwhelmed or intimidated. Her recipes are easy to follow, well explained and so close to the taste of your family, it almost always is a success. No matter which one you pick, it is always delicious, winning you lots of praise from your friends and family. Now, if she earned you the title of ‘Queen of the Kitchen’, wouldn't you agree she is most definitely 'The Queen Maker’!!

Dalal has many feathers on her hat. She has written over 100 books that cover topics like baby food, regional cuisines of India, healthy as well as low fat food, international cuisine, fun and healthy food for children, desserts, drinks, snacks, and everything you can think of! She has her website, has had her own shows like ‘Cook it up with Tarla Dalal’ and ‘Tarla Dalal Show’, publishes a bimonthly magazine, ‘Cooking & More’ and has even been awarded the Padma Shree in 2007.

A sweet Gujarati housewife who transformed into a business woman, a celebrity and an inspiration to so many women and one of my personal heroes, I think Dalal has a lot to teach us. I would love to know what was her motivation, her struggle, her ambition, her life,  while she was on her way to success….

References:
Wikipedia: Tarla Dalal
Way2k.com: Master Chef Tarla Dalal

Hunt for The Perfect Jeans!

Finding jeans? Easy peasy I used to think! And yet, I had been looking for them forever!

In fact, the frustration of not having been able to find, for so long, jeans that are anywhere close to being called perfect, had brought me on the verge of despair!


I mean, since I quit pregnancy jeans, life has been at work and you know how that works: your body keeps changing, a little bit here, a little bit there.... It’s just not as easy to shop as it was when you were in college .So, as life demanded, every now and again I would go jean-shopping and have bought quite a few of them. But I have to say, I very rarely felt satisfied. A vague feeling of having compromised often sneaked in.


But heck if I was going to give in that easily!

I decided, enough is enough! No matter how hard they make it to find your jeans, I am not going to let the stupid marketing and advertising people of good jean brands win! I will do whatever it takes and hunt down my perfect jeans!'

And after searching high and low for jeans that actually fit and flatter, I had started to doubt if they are just an illusion sold to us by those fancy commercials of skinny girls that look like they live at the gym and are only fed once a week!! Felt like their only purpose in life was to get into those jeans!

Determined not to go wrong this time around, I decided to do some research and educate myself before taking on the challenge of shopping. While reading up, I came across several articles that helped me decipher the complicated world of jeans:

When you go to the store, I found out that it is immensely helpful if you are aware, can understand, and even better, talk, in the ‘Jean Jargon’! 

I also learned what kind of jeans suited my body type the best; which I have to say is half the battle – knowing What you are looking for! The material (as in stretch or cotton), color, wash, cut of the leg and waist are all key to your jeans fitting you well and making you look fabulous.
Armed with all this information, I set on my mission and began my search at the store, as decided in deep discussions with my girlfriends. After all, what sensible girl would go out to shop without discussing such a huge shopping dilemma with her girlfriends?!

As I stepped into the store this time, I felt confident for the first time, that this time, I Will find those illusive jeans. As I picked out jeans to try using all my newly acquired knowledge, I felt so good about myself. And when talking to the retail sales people about what I was looking for, boy did I feel smart! I could talk their language!! To cut a long story short, I did try out some good jeans and though I did not find them in the first store I stepped in, I did find them. And tell you what ladies, I am rocking it!! I only wish that the jeans sellers would not make it so complicated to buy good, well cut clothes for people who like to dress well but don't make it their life's mission to know all about the fashion world!

Anyway, here are some of the links I went through and found useful:

Overstock.com: Womens' Jeans Buying Guid
Womans Day: 6 Denim Dilemmas Solved
All Women Stalk: 5 Steps to Buy Perfect Jeans
All You: Denim Dos: How to Find Jeans that Fit Your Body Type (and Look Great!)

Happy Birthday Son!

You are turning seven today and you are now no longer my little baby!

You are so tall now - your head reaches up to my shoulder! I think in a couple more years I will have to use a stepping stool to kiss the top of your head!!

And you talk like such a big guy! You don’t ask me to point out the moon and the stars; now you want to know how many Galaxies are there and what is the Solar System.

You don’t need me to feed you mashed banana anymore, now you can make your own sandwich.

You no longer believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause. Now you are trying to understand God, religion and prayer.

Gone are the days of playing throw ball and guess the animal, now you play basketball and chess!

You don’t need me to read bedtime stories to you anymore, you got that. You can read your own bedtime stories! And they are no Pooh Bear stories either – nope! Now you read Avengers and Ninjago!!

Oh you have grown so much and so fast in these seven years my sweet baby! You may be ready to get all grown up big boy, but me, your mom, no I don’t think I am ready yet sweetheart. I want to hang on a little bit longer. I want to hold your hand for a little bit longer and read you bedtime stories for a few more nights and show you the moon and the stars and see the wonder in your eyes for a little bit longer!

What makes you the Best? Your Will or Your Talent?

Who does not love food? And to eat a delicious gourmet dinner at an upscale restaurant with gentle lighting and soft, beautiful music playing in the background, where you are attended to by the politest servers with uniforms serving you delicacies like lobster or caviar or quail’s egg or foi gras made especially for you by highly educated and accomplished culinary artists! Oh that your mind is gently taken on a journey of exquisiteness and intrigue…..

  

Pav Bhaji vendor on the streets Chandni Chawk, New Delhi.

But that is not what you see here! Oh no sir! This here, is street food, sold on the streets of New Delhi, India. This street delicacy is called Pav Bhaji, simply translated in English it would mean bread and vegetables.

The big round tava or flat pan is propped up on a makeshift stove that burns a huge flame. Surrounded by the pav, the bhaji in the center is being stirred vigorously by man dressed in a striped shirt and dull beige pants. Behind the other tava we see another man wearing brown pants, a shirt and sweater open at the front, roasting bread with his right hand, probably about to put it in the plate he is holding in his other hand, ready to be served to a customer. Between the two men we see an aluminum pan holding stacks of butter, some still wrapped in butter paper and the one on top open to be used to sear the bread. A couple of bricks seem to hold everything in place on the makeshift stove while the men cook and serve food to customers, most likely all evening, if not all day.  To serve this street delicacy the street vendors plate the vegetable curry, the bread, chopped onions, a slice of lemon and garnish it with freshly chopped cilantro and a blob of butter floating in the center of the bhaji.

Quite the anticlimax of a gourmet dinner I suppose. But, you will be surprised when you hear me say that this food can beat even the most expensive dinner you have had. Let me explain what this food is first of all. The Bhaji is boiled and mashed vegetables – mainly potatoes, cauliflower, carrots and green peas- cooked in a very spicy tomato-onion base, green bell peppers and lots and lots of garlic. Over here, when we talk about spices, I have to say that the combination of spices used are intense – powdered red chilies, cinnamon, cumin, coriander seeds, turmeric, cloves, bay leaf, and I am probably missing some but you get the gist. Like I said, quite intense!

Each bite of the bread dipped in the bhaji is a burst of flavorful fire and the familiarity takes you to the recesses of your mind where some of the most wonderful memories are stored. The hominess of this food makes the exquisiteness of foi gras very pale and flavorless. The profound flavors of this dish has the power to make your mouth and eyes water at the same time! But in this picture, besides the stove, we see part of a tin signboard painted in yellow and red, which states the name of an establishment and some of the items on their menu – sweets sold either chilled or frozen- set up right next to our pavbhajiwala (or pav bhaji seller) for obvious reasons!

The millions of street food vendors all over the world, selling cheap, quick and amazingly tasty food are usually so humble and yet so very proud of the food they make and sell to men and women in every walk of life. And they should be too! By making the same food day in and day out, they have mastered the art of cooking it to perfection and talented or not, they are simply unbeatable at that particular art.

As Geoffrey Colvin says, “The critical reality is that we are not hostage to some naturally granted level of talent. We can make ourselves what we will.” The vendor in this picture was not born with some uncanny talent in cooking street food. He has not attended any culinary school or had the privilege of any formal training. Yet he makes pavbhaji that is not just perfect, but it sells, and sells enough to make a profit. His aim is to be better than the competition. These street vendors are real examples for any of us who are aspiring to achieve expertise in any field. I could not agree more with Colvin that we do not need to depend on our talent to make us successful or excellent. We can become great just because we want to.

References:

Agarwal, Harsh. “A Street Vendor, Chandni Chowk, New Delhi.” Photograph.  Denharsh.com, 11 January 2011. Web. 21 April 2013.

Colvin, Geofferey. “What it takes to be great.”CNNMoney. Fortune Magazine., 19 Oct. 2006. Web. 21 April 2013.

Can You Forgive?

When people say ‘I forgive you’ what do they mean?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word ‘forgive’ means:

to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve

to give up all on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.)

to grant pardon to (a person)

to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies

to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan

I wonder though, how many of us are actually able to do this. Don’t we all, most often than not, just pretend to accept an apology and but do not really ‘pardon’, ‘absolve’ or ‘cease to feel resentment against’ our wrongdoer. We keep thinking about it. We even let it turn into a wild raving forest fire in our hearts from the simmering ember that it was! And then we keep the fire burning by repeating the stories of our suffering to as many people as we can, as many times as we can. We feel proud in some morbid way that we suffered at the hands of another human! We do not release ourselves from the pain. Instead we work hard to keep the hurt in and let it turn our insides raw and painful.

We all do this at one time or another, whether we cop to it or not. But if we are truthful, we will be able to admit that we carry our anger, our resentment, for such a long time that when we look back it seems insane to think how much time we wasted on such trivia.

Louise Hay, the author of the book “You Can Heal Your Life” says: “Forgiveness means letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior, it's just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be willing to forgive. The Universe will take care of the hows."

This is not a new concept for most of us! We have all heard this at some point in our lives. Forgiveness means letting go…………. But that is not quite as easy to apply in life. And even harder than that is to forgive ourselves! Not only do we hold on to useless and hurtful garbage thrown at us by other people, but we also have such a hard time forgiving ourselves for our own shortcomings as we see them and moving on!

Do we forgive ourselves when we forget to pay the bill on time or when we said something that we would rather not have said? Do we not blame ourselves even though we are sometimes the victims of other people’s meanness or inhumanity?

I believe most of us need reminding what it is to forgive time and again. I don’t think we all know, or remember (if we were taught right), what it means to forgive and why we should forgive. Of course, knowing what it is to forgive is not enough. Being able to practice that is what’s going to help us become better and stronger humans. The question is CAN WE?

If only there were a school where you were taught life’s lessons too along with your math, science and languages………We all need it!!

So Don't Want To Be The Butterfly!

Today while discussing something with a friend, he came up with this analogy that a butterfly represents a girl so well. He thought it would be so apt to say that a girl child is as beautiful as a butterfly. A very sweet thought one would think. But I  was so very surprised by my reaction to this! I hated that comparison! All my feminist instincts were totally ready for battle! I launched into this very very vehement and emotional argument with him about why this is wrong at so many levels!

We don't want to be seen as beautiful and fragile anymore! Because we may be blessed with beauty but we are most definitely not fragile! And if we are perceived to be so , we definitely do Not want to be that way! We want to be able to walk shoulder to shoulder with our men folk without feeling inferior in any way! Men and women together make this world. No man could do it alone! (Nor am I saying that a woman could!)

And if you think that you would promote the idea of appreciating a girl child in the society by comparing her to a butterfly, well please do not do so thinking that the butterfly is just this pretty and super-delicate insect whose only purpose in life is to make the world look beautiful. Because I bet the butterfly would very much resent that, considering how tough it's life is!! 

Beautiful as they are, the butterflies have to work so hard as a specie to protect themselves from all kinds of predators! Just so that they can maintain the balance on this earth and keep spreading the pollen everywhere they go. To think that the life of a girl is as bad as that? Everyone wants to catch a pretty butterfly  and show it off to others. Even children think it's fun to catch butterflies and put them in jars or stick them in books! Really!? How can anyone do that first of all?! And how can any human think like that about another human?!  We are not trophies, we are not burdens, we are just as human as any man in this world.

Most women are hardworking, patient, resilient, persistent and great at time management, planning and organizing - be they working the farms, running their own homes or running multi million dollar businesses! And all of us have strengths and weaknesses like any man that exists on this earth. Then why do people (and when I say people, I mean a whole lot of men as well as women) consider that women need 'burkha',  they need to be protected, they are something to show off, they have to behave in such and such way only. Why is it that a woman who speaks her mind is considered forward (in it's most negative sense)!

If people stopped comparing women with butterflies wouldn't it help stop rape and abuse! It isn't that women need to be protected. Women need to be respected. We should have the same rights as men. Why is it that men in so many cultures show off their bodies any how they please but no way can a woman do the same? Men run on the streets, parks and other public places in shorts and often shirtless. But even in the most modern of Western Societies a woman cannot get away with something like that!

In this society, it is okay for men to have any vices like boozing, smoking and even sleeping around! In fact, not only do they go scott free but often they are found bragging about such 'conquests' among other men! And the worst thing I have heard, is from women saying "He is a Man." as if that is his excuse! 

No I don't want to be a butterfly because I do not want to worry about the predators lurking around. I do not want to live in fear. I do not want to be raped or mentally undressed by anyone. I do not want to have to work twice as hard to get where a man would get in the work place just because its a "man's" world. I want to have the same chances and opportunities as men do. The same freedom, the same respect, love and affection. I want to enjoy my life on this beautiful earth just like every human has a right to!

Photo Credit: 
http://www.shootingfilm.net/2014/10/butterfly-fly-away.html

One More Public Shooting!!??

Over and over and over again: there is some news in the papers about a shooting. It’s as if, shooting in public and killing innocent people has become a fad! The media feeds on the horror of the crime committed! The more number of people dead, the bigger the news………It goes national, international!! There are several shootings every now and then even in small cities and towns where people have be injured or are even dead which does not make the news. But look for the statistics online and you will find it……!!Yes I understand that life is hard and in fact very very hard for some. But  what I don’t understand is when did our lives become so inconsequential? Humans are so cruel. It’s as if these people do not realize how hard it is to build and how easy it is to demolish. When such cruelty and brutality are wrought by our fellow humans, it is so hard to teach our children kindness, consideration and compassion. As a mother, I keep thinking, should I teach my child to be cautious, afraid, fearful of people or be welcoming, loving, kind and generous towards people? Is it not my job to protect my child from such atrocities and yet, how can I raise a good, confident, progressive human being if all I can teach is fear?!

I know there are so many gentle, kind and generous people in this world who try and teach so many good virtues and values in such simple and understandable ways to children. But is it working? Why in most cases is it working and yet in those few that it doesn't work, we seem to be creating monsters? How do these monsters evolve and become so powerful? Why is it so easy for them to lay hands on weapons of death and demolition? Why are the adults and responsible people around them unaware that something is wrong? Why are these monsters, of such young age, so very often? Young, frustrated adults and sometimes kids who are completely oblivious of the destruction that they are capable of causing.

I try to think that everyone is human, and everyone has a good day and a bad day.  But it is when you are having a bad day that your strength is tested. If so many people fail in this test then what kind of people are we? What kind of children have we raised? I feel so helpless at times and wonder: Can I protect my child? Can I? His Mom?